you are the ocean
by dannymahealani
Summary: they touch each other, at first, like they are foreign countries / lucy&louis, almost fitting. couscincest.


**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**notes**: i like these two. a lot. this just kind of...poured out? the title is from the song _You Are the Ocean_ by Phantogram.

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**you are the ocean**  
lucy&louis

* * *

louis thinks that the poison in his life was her. her, her, her, his fault and his folly.

his fault and his folly and yet, he cannot help but remember the felicity he got when he would just be around her and he cannot help but wish he could get it back.

/

lucy has hair that she bleached white and he thinks the white is a perfect metaphor for her **—** pure, untouched, innocent. (though he knows she can't be any of those things, not after what happened with **—**) she has eyes big like a doe and she is short and small but he knows she is strong. she is not something new **—** hell, he's known her his entire life **—** but rather, something spectacular and he isn't quite sure why.

/

louis stares at her across the room, beer bottle in hand, pretending (but never very well) to pay attention to whatever conversation he's in when she turns her head and they stare back.

her eyes are like the ocean, and he thinks he could drown in them if he looked long enough.

/

she smiles at him, he notes, more then she ever has before. (but he isn't complaining.)

/

when their lips crash together, finally, for the first time, louis feels both undying love for her, this girl he has only ever called his cousin until now, and complete and utter terror because this girl should only ever be a cousin to him and nothing more.

/

they touch each other, at first, like they are foreign countries but soon enough, they know which places to go to.

/

she kisses him goodnight and it is as light as a feather.

/

he kisses her goodnight and it crushes down hard, desperate to keep every feeling of that touch alive for as long as he can.

/

lorcan is leaning over her, one arm against the wall, and she giggles politely. (it's what she's supposed to do, he convinces himself. she's supposed to keep up the act.) he thinks lorcan is a bastard, because he already dated her sister and shouldn't he know better? (shouldn't _she_ know better?)

but every now and then she looks over at him and they make eye contact, both of them smiling and both of them not wanting to wait until they can be alone together.

/

he can't sleep, so he climbs out of bed that holds a sleeping lucy and walks over to his window. his view is of muggle london and his father would always joke that he inherited grandpa arthur's fascination with muggles. he hears footsteps behind him and arms wrap around his waist and feels a head that's leaning against his back.

"what are you thinking about?" she asks in a whisper.

"us.," he replies. "you," he adds as an afterthought. "always you, lucy."

he thinks she feels her smile as she brings him closer.

/

lucy leaves.

louis isn't really surprised, but that doesn't mean he isn't devastated. he doesn't know why she leaves, but he knows that is what lucy does **—** she left her fiance and she left all of her other boyfriends and she even left her sister behind after lorcan and her started dating for the first time **—** he just wishes that she knew she didn't have to.

/

she's lost herself on purpose, he thinks after hearing that none of the family has heard from her in three months. she's off and ran away some place beautiful where she doesn't have to rely on anybody and where it's just herself and no one else.

he tries to find her, but when he doesn't come back with her each time, there is a feeling like he never knew her in the first place, so he stops. he thinks that hurts more then her actually leaving.

/

she comes back two years later with a tan and blue hair and eyes like a doe, still. he still thinks he could drown in them. (but they don't make eye contact, they never do, so his head is still bobbing up on the water, just barely, while she is on a life raft and doesn't invite him on.)

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